On Writing, Ideas, and Making a Difference
I hate networking. Maybe you do, too. The good news is that there is another way.
My best tip for networking is this: serve people.
In a world of self-centeredness that is obsessed with personal celebrity, we need more humility and generosity. We don’t need more “rock stars.” We need more servants.
It may be the only thing that can save us from ourselves.
First impressions aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. And that’s the truth.
When I met my wife, I was more interested in dating her roommate. As we became friends, I began to notice her, and soon I realized what a catch she was. After that, it was a no-brainer to chase her down to Tennessee and marry that beautiful girl. But it took some time.
The privilege of leadership used to belong to a select few. The social elite. The especially charismatic. The unbelievably successful.
You used to have to be the head of your own organization. Or carry a prestigious title. Influence was earned slowly over time. And few had access to it. But now, that’s all changed.
Influence is a buzzword these days. Everybody wants it. Everybody’s trying to get it.
But what is influence and why does it matter? Why are people so desperate to get it?
Because it characterizes a need we all have.
If you want people to listen to you, give them a reason to pay attention. Be generous, build trust, and reward your audience.
But what happens when you actually build one? What do you do when people actually show up? Then, the real work begins. You have to keep people’s attention. Which wouldn’t be a problem if it weren’t for one small issue: There will be haters.
The problem with online friendship is that when things go wrong we split. When I say something that makes you uncomfortable, or when you offend me, we’ll go our separate ways — more often than not.
And this flies in the face of how people actually become friends.
The other day, I was writing an email to a major influencer.
I was asking him for something pretty important that would help me as a writer.
But I was a little nervous, so I did what many people did. Or rather, I almost did.
I caught myself at the end of the email starting to write the following: “You don’t have to do this…”
Wait, what was I doing?
At some point in the past week, I crossed the 20,000 tweets threshold on Twitter.
That’s five figures of 140 character messages.
That’s 20 grand’s worth of thoughts, replies, and nonsensical statements.
That’s a lot of time reacting, and a little time creating.
What have I learned in the past four years of tweeting over 20,000 times? A few things…
When asked how he built such a robust online community with his blog, Jon Acuff’s answer was simple: “The same way you build an offline one. Slowly and honestly.” That got me thinking.
Maybe I’ve been going about this all wrong. Maybe I’ve been looking for a magic-bullet solution. Maybe I’ve been lazy.
I got bit by a dog this weekend. When I called Animal Control, they asked me a series of questions. Before they hung up, I blurted out: “What am I supposed to do?”
This had never happened to me before. I was scared. I didn’t want to have to think. I just needed directions.
And they said, “That’s up to you.”
