Overcoming Perfectionism: Stop Going Around in Circles

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This is our dog Lyric.

Lyric, I’m afraid, has OCD. I don’t know if it’s genetic or what, but this tragic handicap will probably impair him for the rest of his life.

Lyric the Dog (Stop Going in Circles)

You see, our dog is a perfectionist.

He has this bizarre ritual of walking around in circles and scratching the ground before he lies down. He does this every single time he takes a nap.

One of my Twitter friends tells me that this is an ancient nesting instinct that he simply can’t help.

What drives me nuts, though, is when our poor dog doesn’t stop. Maybe he’s nervous or just can’t get comfortable, but sometimes, he just keeps walking around in circles.

Never settling down. Never stopping the obsessive spinning and scratching. Just going around and around.

In completely pointless circles.

As a writer, I can relate. Maybe you can, too…

Dealing with my own perfectionism

Often with a writing project, I want everything to be perfect. I can’t finish unless it is “just right.” I can’t start something new until what I’m working on looks like what I have in my head.

Now, there’s a lot to be said for excellence, but sometimes, no matter what, it’s never good enough.

And I keep going around and around in circles, anyway.

At those times, I’m being a perfectionist.

And I’m making myself miserable.

The futile fruit of perfectionism

As my new friend Ken Davis poignantly says,

A perfectionist is not someone who is perfect; it is someone who is miserable, because they can’t get it right.

Art is not perfect. Art is human.

And I want to create beautiful art. Not stale perfection. I don’t want to “get it right.”

I want to make it beautiful.

Let’s face the facts: This endless striving for “perfect” isn’t getting us anywhere; it’s only making us miserable.

Moreover, this habit is unhealthy and can actually lead to serious mental anxiety. (Read ten telltale traits of a perfectionist to find out if you’re on the edge.)

So stop being a perfectionist. Seriously. Stop it. Right now.

What to do

If you’re continuing to revisit a project again and again, worried that it’ll never be good enough, it may be time to ship. Even if it’s not ready, you’ll feel better that you put something out there.

And most importantly, you’ll be freed from the anxiety-producing curse of perfectionism that plagues so many creatives, while learning to embrace the practice of putting imperfect work on public display.

Do you really need another iteration? Or are you just going around in circles? Share your ownn story of perfectionism in the comments section.

[Full disclosure: I reread this post about 10 11 times, editing and tweaking it, wanting it to be just right. Finally, I gave up and had to take my own advice.]

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*Photo credit: The talented Kristine Neeley (check out the amazing shoot she did with us here.)

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About the Author

Jeff Goins

I help people tell better stories and make a difference in the world. I live in Tennessee with my wife and dog. Follow me on Twitter and Facebook.

  • Erin Wilson

    :) Yes, I totally resonate with this. Not only do I have trouble letting projects go, but sometimes I have trouble starting, knowing that the end result won’t be ‘perfect enough’.

    Lately I’m trying to remind myself that I owe it to the message to get it out there… if the message is important, I shouldn’t be holding it back.

    • Jeff Goins

      I agree, Erin. Something liberating happens when we release a project for others to see. We realize that it’s not totally ours, that we were just stewards of it.

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  • http://douglasryoung.net Doug Young

    Great thoughts. I see myself as both a perfectionist (when it comes to certain things) and a guy who lacks drive (in areas where I know I need substantive improvement). It is a horrible quandary to be in.

    • Jeff Goins

      I’m the same, Doug. Question: Do you think you lack drive because of your perfectionism? I’m reading up on the subject, and it appears that many perfectionists have trouble starting things that they don’t think will ever be “good enough” (see Erin’s comment above).

  • http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com Kyle Reed

    I wouldn’t say I am a perfectionist, well I guess in some areas I am. But where I become a perfectionist is looking at other people. Which is really sad, I hold them to unrealistic standards and when they do not live up to them I become frustrated. I am working on letting that go, because like Ken Davis said, they will never be perfect and I will always be miserable.

    • Jeff Goins

      I do that, too, Kyle. Very unfair of me. Trying not to hold others to my standards, especially without communicating those expectations. It can really set both sides up for some disappointment and frustration.

  • Suzanne

    I’m a recovering perfectionist (in most areas). Learning to just let something be finished in many areas is hard. I was a student who so hated having something incorrect I sometimes told myself it was better not to pass it in. Finally had to confront how much of a PRIDE issue that was. Not easy!

    Oh and yes it is mostly a dog thing definitely not helped by his breed. (Appears to be border collie or some mix of that?) They tend to be a bit extra OCD.

    • Jeff Goins

      Thanks, Suzanne, for saying this. You’re absolutely right. I’ve recognized that in myself, too.

      And yes, Lyric is part Bordie Collie. Is this an instinct for certain breeds only? I had no idea…

  • http://www.thechurchofnopeople.com Matt @ The Church of No People

    It took me a long time to realize that the best parts of whatever art I was working on were completely unintentional. It’s kind of humbling to know that your highest efforts can still be outshined by your mistakes.

    • Jeff Goins

      Really well said, Matt. I think that this is often the case — we’re unaware of our own genius or assuming that we’re adding value somewhere else. Thanks for sharing, man.

  • http://youthguy07.blogspot.com Carl

    I spent a lot of years wanting to both appear and be perfect. When it comes to writing, I try to remember that a great story doesn’t require perfect writing; it just needs to be told! Thanks for sharing. And I love Ken Davis!

    • Jeff Goins

      Thanks, Carl. Ken’s great. Had the privilege of talking to him on the phone today.

  • http://www.gallagherinstitute.com Chris Gallagher

    As a recovering Type-A personality, I foudn myself as your dog expect I was not circling a place to lay down, instead I circled my work, my writing and my religion. I found myself becoming striving for prefectionism so much I lost touch with the simple aspects of life which leave the greatest legacy.

    To me, I am still in the process of overcoming the mindsent of prefectionism co-joined with a Type-A personality. I am gaining momentum each day. In fact, I am getting better. See I will not even correkt the word “correct.”

    I am getting there! Great thoughts!

    • Jeff Goins

      Well done, Chris! (As a recovering perfectionist myself, I couldn’t stand all those typos, but I got your point at the end. Too funny!)

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  • http://movethemountains.blogspot.com Chad Jones

    This post resonates with me on a couple of levels; first, as the firstborn child of my parents, and secondly as a writer. As a firstborn, I tend towards frustrated perfectionism–meaning, in practical terms, I’m done before I begin. That’s right: I don’t even start because I know it won’t be perfect. I suppose this stems from being an only child for several years, and a nasty habit of comparing my achievements to those of adults (and believe me, at least career-wise, my parents were high achievers).

    How this has carried over into writing is that I continue to compare myself to others who’ve been doing this (blogging) longer, who get more comments, etc.

    I used to try to write what I thought people wanted to read, but folds can tell when I’m being inauthentic in this way.

    How I combat this perfectionism is to pretend I’m a journalist on deadline, e.g. I have to write something everyday, and post it–good, bad, or indifferent. I pretend the control is out of my hands, and this paradoxically gives me the freedom to produce. That, and I finally gave up, and started writing for me. I’m resigned to the fact that it will never be perfect, but I can strive for excellence. In this regard, I like what Jon Acuff says about 90% and posted is better, and more beneficial, than 100%, and stuck in one’s head.

    Ultimately, the words are meant to be free, and I am but a conduit.

    • http://goinswriter.com/ Jeff Goins

      Well said, Chad. I have the same struggle (I think a lot of perfectionists do). It’s either all or nothing.

  • http://www.writinginflow.blogspot.com Beverly Diehl

    Hi , new follower here.  I like your posts a lot, but for the record, while your dog probably does have OCD, there’s a condition called *OCPD*, and *that’s* what some perfectionists (not all) actually have.  I write a (second) blog on the subject at: http://www.perfectlyawfulusa.blogspot.com.  While the people who have it often have excellent hearts, they often drive themselves and their partners/children/co-workers up the wall.

    *Excellence* is an achievable, worthwhile goal.  Seeking perfection is crazymaking.

    • http://goinswriter.com/ Jeff Goins

      indeed. thanks for clarifyin!

  • Paul Jenkins

    Oh, that’s cute. Perfectionist dog :) Mine does that too, but everything he has to do his…..”business’. He walks in circles 4-5 times then goes on to do his business. I’m pretty sure he’s trying to find the perfect location to ……unload.

    Perfectionism sucks when you notice that you do it even with the smallest and simplest of tasks. That’s when you realize you’re loosing precious time with something that should be fairly easy and quick to do.

    Here’s another interesting article about perfectionism: http://www.thinkbasis.com/blog/2011/business/does-being-a-perfectionist-hurt-you-and-ultimately-your-business.html?isalt=1

    • http://goinswriter.com/ Jeff Goins

      agreed.

  • Lia London

    Amen!   I recently published a novel, and a friend of mine did the cover art.  We worked for ages to get it all right, and then….after it’s already out there for folks to buy…. we keep finding flaws in our work.  Even when the reviews have been very positive.  At one point, I had to say, “Hey, look.  When I first saw the cover art, I loved it.  When you first read the manuscript, you loved it.  Everyone out there is going to go on their first gut reaction.  NO ONE is going to go over our work 392 times (like we do) to find every flaw.  We’ve got to let it go!”

    That said, when the second edition is released, there will be some tweaks! 

    • http://goinswriter.com/ Jeff Goins

      Art is never finished.

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  • http://whatthisgirllearns.blogspot.com/ Whatthisgirllearns

    Thank you! This is so true! I began working on some projects a few years ago but spent a lot of time waiting to get them “good enough.”  I’ve had to start setting myself time frames to prevent over-perfecting and never “shipping.”

  • Anonymous

    My dog does the same thing as Lyric…Joining the 5 Min Fridays link-up with The Gypsy Mama is one way I force myself to not give into my perfectionism…Thanks, Jeff, for another funny and useful post!

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