Goins, Writer

On Writing, Ideas, and Making a Difference

Stop Waiting to Be Picked

The reason publishers are signing authors who have built their own platforms is the same reason YouTube sensations are appearing on car commercials. It’s because they’re not waiting to be picked.

Waiting to Be Picked

Photo credit: David Goehring (Creative Commons)

These people are choosing to start in spite of the fact that no one’s given them permission. And this is what makes them so attractive.

These are the trail-blazers, the trendsetters, and true difference-makers of our day. They’re the ones “crazy enough to change the world.” And you could be one of them, too — if you would just stop waiting.

We all want to be picked

Of course, this is natural: the desire to be chosen, to fit in with society’s standards, to be liked by the cool kids. It’s also a myth.

For every person or group that picks you, there is one (or a hundred ones) that doesn’t. You can spend your whole life trying to please them all. Or you can focus your attention on something that matters, like finding your tribe.

You must pick yourself

The real trick is to not wait, but to pick yourself, to “turn pro” in your head (as Pressfield says). To believe you can do what you’re asking others to believe about you.

That’s how you become “legit” in the eyes of others — not by waiting for acknowledgment, but by acting as if you already have it. And here’s the crazy part: When you do this, you get the permission you’ve been waiting for. Not by asking for it, but by proving yourself.

The paradox is you get what you’re desiring when you stop desiring it. In other words, the less concerned you are with appealing to an audience’s sensitivities, the more appealing an audience will find you.

It’s the classic “cool guy” routine that gets the girl every time by acting as if he’s not interested. Of course, he is. He’s very interested in her. But he moves on with his life as if he’s not. And she finds him absolutely irresistible.

Our heroes do this

This is what we love about our favorite movie actors and athletes and rock gods. They don’t care about the system. They care about creating art or breaking rules or just being themselves. They are above reproach, have somehow transcended the need for acceptance.

But of course, we know this can’t be true. We have read enough biographies and seen enough interviews to know that our heroes are just as human and insecure as we are. They just do something different with their fear. They don’t let it debilitate them. They choose to create and share their work, anyway.

They work through the fear instead of waiting to feel unafraid before creating their best work. And if they can, maybe you can, too. Maybe we all can.

Need help getting started with picking yourself? Download my free three-part series on building an audience so you never have to pick yourself again. You’ll get it free when you join my free newsletter

What is it you’re waiting to be picked for? Share in the comments.

*Hat tip to Seth Godin for giving me the language to articulate this idea.

About Jeff Goins

I help people tell better stories and make a difference in the world. My family and I live outside of Nashville, TN. Follow me on Twitter, Facebook, or Google Plus. To get updates and free stuff, join my newsletter.

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  • http://www.praverb.net/ Patrick McNease

    Great blog post. You have gained me as a reader. I am tired of waiting for validation or confirmation to achieve things. I will increase my faith and use visualization to make my dreams reality. Thank you @jeffgoins:disqus.

  • Julian PG Riches

    I’m really happy I found this website. Super pumped. I’ve began to get going for myself, and stopped waiting for permission, and especially stopped trying to swallow it all in one bite. I’m going to aim for huge, but do it in nibbles, because thats how writing works.

  • Joyce Ackley

    Lots of good stuff on your blog. I’m glad I found it.

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  • Michael Scott

    ” You’ll also get regular inspiration and tips delivered straight to your inbox.”
    Couldn’t I get them delivered “curved” to my inbox? :-)

  • Brooke Hardwick Writer

    I pick myself. Thanks for the encouragement Geoff. http://www.thewritelife.com.au

  • http://www.jameslcarey.com James L. Carey

    Just found your writing, fantastic and exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks!

    • http://goinswriter.com/ Jeff Goins

      Thanks, James!

  • Futurecrafter

    Thanks for the advice :)

  • Get It Productions

    Awesome article, I love this topic because it is so important especially as artists to stop waiting around to be told we’re good enough. Have you heard of James Altucher’s book Choose Yourself? It deals with this topic too. Glad I found your website

  • Abbi

    Great article! Wonderful advice!

  • Nasir Ali

    Awesome article, I love this topic because it is so important especially
    as artists to stop waiting around to be told we’re good enough. Have
    you heard of James Altucher’s book Choose Yourself?
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